So I've been meaning to write this post for awhile but was having a case of writer's block. Being a strong voice for younger females has been a conviction of mine for awhile. Working with them so often has left me recognizing their need to be loved and accepted.... by peers (mostly boys)... sometimes no matter the cost to their own self worth and value. And this breaks my heart. Now I'm not going to go on some crazy Spice Girls-esque "girl power" trip either.... because it's not about that. But I do want girls out there to recognize their worth and value as a woman... that they're more than what they wear, what they eat, who they hook up with...
Now I have to say I totally understand where they're coming from. And today it seems like there is even more pressure on girls to be skinny yet curvy, sexy but not "slutty", smart but not "too smart", fit but not "butch", fashionable without trying "too hard".... the list goes on. We make it impossible for girls to "win" when we set these impossible standards of what perfection looks like. Barbie, Cosmo, Victoria's Secret.... the mass messages that these companies send out tell girls THIS is who you NEED to be or frankly you don't measure up. And we feed into it... all of us. Even those of us (clears throat) who think we're above it. I like to think of myself as a smart, capable, strong woman... but you better believe I'm still buying the newest skinny jeans and straightening my hair with a bevvy of products every morning. We all do it. Why? Because we want to feel pretty, accepted... even loved. And we think this is how we can get there.
I think a lot of our younger sisters get so many messages about what being "sexy" means. Even more so than when we (I'm speaking for us mid-20s ladies) were tweens and teens. Girls are constantly being pressured to dress sexy at even younger ages. I mean have you looked around at the mall lately?! For those of us who work in schools, I know it makes my stomach drop when I hear about 12 year old girls and their "sex" lives (grimace). Truth be told, more than anything it makes them sad to hear that they're giving away pieces of themselves to those boys who do not deserve it... not even close. But they're confused, young, wanting to fit in.... it makes sense. This is what they're told they need to do.... from the boys, from tv, from the radio, from movies, from eachother... and that's the saddest part. There's some girl on girl crime going on here. And the boys know it and they feed off of it. No bueno. I've had so many girls that come in to talk to me that tell me "I can't get a date unless I hook up" or "if I don't do it, he'll find someone else who will." And my response to that... let him! Do you really want to be part of that kind of dating anyway?! Where does it ultimately lead you?... heartbroken, feeling used, rejected.... If you don't hook up where does that leave you? Maybe without a date. I acknowledge that... but chances are it may not. Either way it leaves you with respect. Isn't that worth it?!
So my message is... how do we get a place where we respect ourselves and one another enough to say stop it! Enough is enough! I think it comes from within ladies. I think we have to respect ourselves if we expect anyone else to. Lead by example shall we?! For me, I know I feel wayyyy better about myself when I get a good grade on a test or had a good workout or cooked a delish meal... there are infinite possibilities. The key is to "figure out who you are and try not to be afraid of it." Embrace your inner nerd, athlete, artist, musician... whatever it is that makes your heart tick. If you love you and you "do" you.... people will inevitably love you and R-E-S-P-E-C-T. And that ladies money (despite what Cosmo may say) can't buy.
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